My Old Friend...

So my mission papers are done!

 I had all my last meeting with the Bishop and the Stake President. Funny story there. My meeting with the Stake President went very well except I called him the wrong name.... the entire time! I was later told that by my mother who goes to swimming aerobics every morning with the stake presidents wife. Just my luck, right? 

My papers went in Sunday night June 17th, Fathers Day! So by June 28th I will know Where and When (hopefully)! And as soon as I open my letter one of my many calls to people will be to my Bishop to set up a date to go through the temple!! I'm so happy to finally be ready to go. And that's something really important I learned. That I need to be ready to enter the temple. Mentally and spiritually ready to receive the sacred ordinances and blessing. Just being outside the temple I have a strong spirit with me. I cant imagine how I'm going to feel when I'm IN the temple! (I'll make sure to give you my emotional update when I'm out of the temple!)

So last night I had my first anxiety moment about my mission since this whole process began. I was standing in the kitchen realizing that in less than two weeks I will know where I'm going to be spending the next year and a half of my life all on my own. No one I know will be with me. Complete alone... and then I felt the familiar warm embrace of the spirit in my body. Feeling at peace about the journey ahead of me. Once again I felt the same feeling that I felt when I made my decision to go on a mission. The feeling that told me, "I'm going on a mission, and that it's okay." 

Last night during my few seconds of loneliness I was terrified for what was ahead. I felt I wasn't ready or wasn't worthy to go. But the warm embrace of my old friend gave me the confidence to know that I will never be alone and that I am a ready and worthy missionary!

-Miss Mish-

Shelby at the Dentist...

So after I decided to go on my mission life started happening very fast.

Meetings with the Bishop, working on my papers, Doctor, Dentist and Eye appointments. Mission prep, Temple prep, reading reading more reading and I havent even started shopping for clothes yet! 

Temple Prep is fun. I have a cool teacher that loves to teach us the basics and then have us give the teachings to our other class members. There is one other girl in my class so we are always companions, its nice because she knows her stuff and lets be honest, I need to study a bit more. 

As of right now my papers are almost done, Im waiting on some lab results and getting my picture taken from Yasmin Photography, she is the Editor for Float Away Films and and is amazing!
(http://www.facebook.com/floatawayfilms)

;)

You know how a lot of people dont like the dentist... I am now one of them. As of right now I dont have dental insurance so we went to a new dentist. Not. Fun. First came the teeth cleaning. I think the nurse worked on cars before she became a nurse because she hurt! It was torcher, scratching me teeth like crazy hitting my gums, nightmare. Then after that came the x-rays, the dentist looks at them then checks my teeth and gives me the bad news. 3... 3 cavities. He sugest I take care of two other teeth that look like they are breaking down as well. So I schedule a time with the receptionist when I could come back and do them all. At the same time. Once again, Not. Fun. Before I know Im back in that chair. Dentist pulls out the needle and here we go... Shoots me three time and begins to drill. Tooth one is done before I know it, tooth two took a bit longer, three and four weren't too bad, then came the last tooth the "easy one" as the dentist called it. Started drilling and I started feeling... I'll tell you what my hand has never shot up so fast. Dentist shoots me up again, gives me 5 minutes for it to kick in then startes again. My hand shoots up again. Then he sprays some of that stuff thats SUPOSE to make you numb right on my tooth. "Lets hope that works" He says. I hear the drill and brace myself.... And then I scream! Finally, he fills that syringe up and blocks the entire right side of my face.

 I felt nothing!! :) 

(only the nightmares remain)

Changes

Wow, Almost two years has gone by and I cannot begin to tell you what has happened over that span of time. So we will just start with today.

Went to the midnight showing of Hunger Games with the gang, (which includes Brittany, Amber, Mimi, George, Michael and Ammon.) The movie was very well done. It had a really good cast and all were very good at acting. I find myself looking at movies a little closer. Instead of being engulfed in a storyline or try to be a part of what is going on in the film...  I find myself LOOKING at the movie. Camera angles and transition shots and how making a moment in a movie is more about the acting, its the movement of the camera, the focused points, the angles. When I watch a movie now, I see camera work. And I have an new appreciation for movies and the peoples art I watch.

Getting back to my life, I'm currently getting ready to go on a mission!

Yep, me, on a mission, didn't think it was going to happen but when he calls, you answer. :) I remember when I finally decided I was going. It all started when I got my patriarchal blessing from my church... (cue cheesy looking back at my history, music)

The Idea of going on a mission has somewhat been in the back of my mind. When I got the copy of my blessing I read it, and read it, and read it. In it, it mentioned my mission and the more I read it the more hints I saw about me going on a mission. I tried to dismay those feelings because I was afraid somewhat. I liked what was going on in my life and I didn't want to leave everything for a year and a half ( as selfish as that sounds, it was the truth.) 

Days went by and the though of a mission got smaller and smaller in my head.... then came Sunday. Woke up, went to church and got smacked in the face with thought of a mission. And once again dismissed them for my own selfish comfort. 

About a month went by. This was around the time when students could start signing up for next semester of school. I picked out my classes and got it all figured out. Except how I was going to pay for these classes I had just signed up for. I talked with my parents to see what could be done. There was just no extra money around. I already tried the FASFA thing but was disappointed there. I was with mom on a Costco run thinking of my options when BOOM!! I realized the reason I could go to school next semester was because that time was needed for me to prepare for my mission. Just like that, in my head, crystal clear... but I didn't want to listen. I kept my mouth shut about the idea of me going on a mission. I had told very few I was going through this mind torture. I brought up the topic of a mission to my mom right there in the middle of Costco and mom looked at me and asked me if I had had prayed about it, which I hadn't, so then the praying started....

For a few weeks I would pray and pray and pray about weather or not I was to go on a mission.... (funny because I already felt I might, I was just too stubborn.) And I felt nothing..... Just uncertainty. And I'll tell you what, THAT confused me. One second I feel like I might go and the next, nothing. 

I felt that nothing for the next few days and that was even worse than the denial!! Then came the car ride to Nutrition 101 (very delicious health shake place) with two very important people in my life. I remember they had just picked me up and we were turning right onto University from Mesa Dr. And the driver asked me "So Shelby, are you going on a mission?" (or something like that) And before I could even think of a response, my mouth had already finished giving her a response.... "Yes" 

My body was warm and my heart was quiet. I almost felt like I had just woken up from a great night sleep. I was so peaceful and every doubt in my mind vanished and was like it had never been there in the first place. I felt safe and confident. I remember smiling, not being able to stop smiling. Feeling so sure, I have never been so sure of something. I knew I was going to serve a mission and I couldn't wait for that day happen.... I felt somewhat of a combination of all those feelings within the short second it took me to say "Yes." The only feeling that has stayed with me, even now, is peace.

School Life

Okay so here is my school day, Monday and Wednesday I have Rock History (love it) Institute  (sometimes). Math122, English (teacher treats us like we're 10) and French (best class, thanks to my amie(friend)!) And Friday, Rock History, and Math.

But NEXT SEMESTER Monday and Wednesday will consist of Intro to Graphic Editing, Digital Photography and French 102! Words cannot express how excited I am for next semester! Being back "home" with photography, being able to take pictures for homework! It sounds too good to be true. The problem is, my parents...

Photography I understand how they want a secure future for me ( and their idea for that is nursing) but I'm not happy with nursing. I tried it and it was my "hell on earth." I have loved and will always love the art of photography. The passion for it started with a disposable camera but bloomed when I took Intro to Photography my 8th grade. Ever since then I have taken a photography class every semester of school till graduation. So reader(s) of my blog, tell me this. Follow my passion or please my parents? No brainier, I know, but enlighten me.

Must you talk....

Lets just say my teacher is a TALKER. She gives out assignments that have us stand up and find a new "buddy" and TALK about three things that interest them. Really? I'm in college! And could care less about those persons "interests". The first week of school we TALKED about our names. The second week we TALKED about advertisements. Now we are TALKING about heroes. When teaching subjects in class she TALKS to us and tells us what the topic is and explains it, okay that's good. But then she goes and TELLS us 10 examples for everything she TALKS about. So all together, in my class that's lasts one hour and fifteen minutes, she TALKS the whole time... no joke. In most classes that's fine but in this class, you need to write. I mean, it is a WRITING CLASS!

 

Who said that was what I wanted.

Can you understand I don't want to do that.

People tell me that there's a lot of money in that. 

I can have a secure financial life if I purse that. 

But I don't want that. 

I want this! 

Life could be so much better if you give me the chance to try this!

To see if this is what I want. 

I'm 19...19!! 

I have time, and right now, THIS is what I want!