Changes

Wow, Almost two years has gone by and I cannot begin to tell you what has happened over that span of time. So we will just start with today.

Went to the midnight showing of Hunger Games with the gang, (which includes Brittany, Amber, Mimi, George, Michael and Ammon.) The movie was very well done. It had a really good cast and all were very good at acting. I find myself looking at movies a little closer. Instead of being engulfed in a storyline or try to be a part of what is going on in the film...  I find myself LOOKING at the movie. Camera angles and transition shots and how making a moment in a movie is more about the acting, its the movement of the camera, the focused points, the angles. When I watch a movie now, I see camera work. And I have an new appreciation for movies and the peoples art I watch.

Getting back to my life, I'm currently getting ready to go on a mission!

Yep, me, on a mission, didn't think it was going to happen but when he calls, you answer. :) I remember when I finally decided I was going. It all started when I got my patriarchal blessing from my church... (cue cheesy looking back at my history, music)

The Idea of going on a mission has somewhat been in the back of my mind. When I got the copy of my blessing I read it, and read it, and read it. In it, it mentioned my mission and the more I read it the more hints I saw about me going on a mission. I tried to dismay those feelings because I was afraid somewhat. I liked what was going on in my life and I didn't want to leave everything for a year and a half ( as selfish as that sounds, it was the truth.) 

Days went by and the though of a mission got smaller and smaller in my head.... then came Sunday. Woke up, went to church and got smacked in the face with thought of a mission. And once again dismissed them for my own selfish comfort. 

About a month went by. This was around the time when students could start signing up for next semester of school. I picked out my classes and got it all figured out. Except how I was going to pay for these classes I had just signed up for. I talked with my parents to see what could be done. There was just no extra money around. I already tried the FASFA thing but was disappointed there. I was with mom on a Costco run thinking of my options when BOOM!! I realized the reason I could go to school next semester was because that time was needed for me to prepare for my mission. Just like that, in my head, crystal clear... but I didn't want to listen. I kept my mouth shut about the idea of me going on a mission. I had told very few I was going through this mind torture. I brought up the topic of a mission to my mom right there in the middle of Costco and mom looked at me and asked me if I had had prayed about it, which I hadn't, so then the praying started....

For a few weeks I would pray and pray and pray about weather or not I was to go on a mission.... (funny because I already felt I might, I was just too stubborn.) And I felt nothing..... Just uncertainty. And I'll tell you what, THAT confused me. One second I feel like I might go and the next, nothing. 

I felt that nothing for the next few days and that was even worse than the denial!! Then came the car ride to Nutrition 101 (very delicious health shake place) with two very important people in my life. I remember they had just picked me up and we were turning right onto University from Mesa Dr. And the driver asked me "So Shelby, are you going on a mission?" (or something like that) And before I could even think of a response, my mouth had already finished giving her a response.... "Yes" 

My body was warm and my heart was quiet. I almost felt like I had just woken up from a great night sleep. I was so peaceful and every doubt in my mind vanished and was like it had never been there in the first place. I felt safe and confident. I remember smiling, not being able to stop smiling. Feeling so sure, I have never been so sure of something. I knew I was going to serve a mission and I couldn't wait for that day happen.... I felt somewhat of a combination of all those feelings within the short second it took me to say "Yes." The only feeling that has stayed with me, even now, is peace.